Hola December!

Terkadang kita ngerasa pengeeen banget ngebahagiain orang di sekitar kita, kayak ortu, keluarga, temen, pacar atau siapa aja, kita berjuang mati-matian buat dapetin uang sebanyak-banyaknya karena menurut kita, itulah satu-satunya cara buat ngebahagiain mereka, begitukah?

Pada dasarnya, standarisasi kesenangan orang itu beda-beda, ada yang seneng kalo dibeliin ini-itu, atau seneng walau hanya sekedar dikasih perhatian basa-basi yang sebenernya basi abis, apapun, asal perhatian, afterall, karena adanya kesenangan itu makanya muncul orang-orang yang ingin membahagiakan.

Aku nggak punya teori apa-apa soal ini, menurut aku, kalo emang pengen ngebahagiain orang, tolong coba jangan egois!

Ego bakalan ngerusak segala hal, pas keadaan lagi baik-baik trus kita jadi marah-marah nggak jelas, nganggap yang biasa banget jadi gede, sampe bikin lawan bicara kita jadi diem seribu bahasa, well, coba posisi kita dibalik, mungkin orang itu bakal sabar, tapi dia juga manusia yang pengen dingertiin kayak kita, kalo mungkin kita bisa lebih sedikit sabar dan nguasain diri, belajar buat lebih dewasa buat ngadepin suatu hal,  aku orang yang prinsipnya selalu pengen keliatan all was so well walaupun kadang-kadang nggak bisa juga, jadi kita nggak harus ngebawa masalah kita kemana-mana, tempatin masalah itu pada tempatnya, mungkin ketika kalian baca ini kalian bakal ngerasa nggak mungkin bisa bisa juga, tapi, pernah nggak sih mikir buat nyoba?

Cobalah ngejaga perasaan orang ketika sedang berkomunikasi, nggak nyoba buat langsung ber-babibu marahin kalo kita lagi kesel sama dia, kalaupun ada sesuatu yang kita pengen bilang, bilang secara baik-baik, anggap dia juga pengin dihargai kayak kita, walaupun posisi dia itu lagi salaaah banget, ingat, dunia ini berputar loh. 

Lagian, sering banget marah-marah itu juga berdampak buruk bagi psikis seseorang, apalagi buat orang-orang yang suka parno, percaya atau nggak, mereka pasti ada dilingkungan kamu, jadi jangan ngasal banget menghadapi orang, buat mereka seperti layaknya kita ingin diperlakukan seperti apa. Dengan begitu, mereka udah senang dekat-dekat kita, bukan dengan cara berjuang buat kumpulin uang banyak tapi masih sering bikin dia kesel atau nggak nyaman sama kita, its a zero try. Have a nice day :))

P.S : Gonna wish something in this early december? As always, Being always happy with all I had.

A Zero Hope!

@HARVARD : "Harvard had this culture that made me feel that, whoever I was, they believe in me and want me to be succeed"

A little thing, or a big thing in my life is dreams, I'm only a human like any philosophical theory, always believe in dream, I tried, believe in just one or two dreams I could create when I'm young, (not on this period haha), I'm a dreamer since I believe that dream could bring you to the place you want, when I can look away from dream killers, when I believe that "thats not a sin when you can fly away", anything could happen, but I still believe, dream takes nearly everyday with me, it could be nearest and HAPPEN!

They said, I'm not trying so hard, its more good comments than "hey girl, thats not dream, a zero hope!", then sometimes I becoming mad but making a little confession in heart, "its true.", and wish that dream comes when that night I slept, its terrible, I've ever did the worst, the worst then, I'm trying to forget that thing at all and I always look more away to that dream I wish I can be more closer!

*****

Today I read "Rhodes To Success" from you know, the coolest unversity's website, guess what? Oh please just click the link :p

At first I guess I love that university because the place was really really cool, (look at the view!) but its impossible to keep any dream with a reason for almost 5 years I started dreaming it lol, hahaha yeah, I guess I  really want to be there, I really want to be a harvard student with no reasonable! But I know today, its actually not too difficult to reach anything you want but also think about your ability and the thing you look for.

*****

P.S : Heyheyhey, I Miss You so bad, have a little time to just say hi? :p

Having A Coke With You

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles
and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them
I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse
it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it


~Frank O'Hara

Run

Haha, finally blogging again, with some-romance mood :D I cant stop staring to this video lately (actually he sent me this hihi) start lovin it that day but just can share here now.

******

To feel boring again and all over again is not good, isnt it? To kill every dreams remain in my head, and looking to the REAL reality, I'm boring, I'm afraid, but I'm still act I'm ok even adviced anyone, the truly fact of my life, it burns when I got to look the reality.

******

sometimes you need to kill people who kills your dream!

YOU Gives Me More Than Reality!

Hanya sangat sering dilanda galau belakangan ini, I'm going to burst and take myself away from action, so I heard this song and watch the movie "Ayat-Ayat Cinta", its probably the coolest Indonesian movie for me, dan merasa enakan, kalo saya disuruh review tentang film itu pasti pada nggak sanggup baca karena akan panjaaaang banget, salute!

"When everything seems to be going against you,remeber that 

the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it!"

-Henry Ford-

Excited!

Tanggal : 24 Maret 2012
Tempat : Lapangan Blang Padang Banda Aceh
Pukul    : 15.00-18.00

I was excited with this program lately, for joined into the committe and found more great friends, yeah you should have to join too :D

Ini adalah kegiatan TRAINING BAHASA INGGRIS, sekaligus terbesar dalam SEJARAH, jadi jika Anda bergabng dalam training tersebut, Anda telah mendukung Aceh untuk mendapatkan DUA REKOR DUNIA sekaligus, dan perlu digarisbawahi, ANDA TIDAK PERLU BERBAHASA INGGRIS LANCAR untuk mengikuti TRAINING ini.

So, tunggu apalagi guys? Mau bikin daerah kita bangga dan dikenal dunia? Ajak teman-teman kalian sebanyak-banyaknya untuk mengikuti acara ini. :)

10/08

"The way you know you have found the right one is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with that person..."

(Catherine Shienny-euphoria empat musim)

Dear you, 

I'm suddenly feel so close with 'sweet' things exactly when I realized that day I said the first time to you this thing, when I'm becoming close with sin, Ididnt watch my world become mad after, the rule is : I couldnt say else when I'm in else, it does true, but heart said its wrong, the first time I realized world now is just you.

Dear You, 

After 10/08, I'm so much comfort of everything we spent together, no matter how strange, how freak, how old, anything is, I've never care to what people said about me, cause I believe in you, always there for me.

Dear You, 

I dont really care about dream sometimes when you were there say you just want to be a simple man with a simple passion in life, cause I do, really want to follow your rules. And I enjoyed so much to think 10/08 is the best part of my life

Dear You, 

Something we could probably see, we didnt have to hide anything cause I know you exactly like you know me, we couldnt make a part, cause you, me, we are the best part of this thing. Because today, all is real, no matter how bad, freak, and sad 10/08

Dear You, 

*gazing on you* I want this to be the last, and though, did 10/08 ever was? :D

 When you're tired facing the world, just remember that you still have me to come home... A place where you will always be understood, no matter who you really are or how bad what you ever did... (xhien)

(Catherine Shienny)

Je T'adore

I dont have a perfect way to say, 

But to be connected, and gazed on you

Make me real catching my true heaven

Beautiful and white,

Like a bird, finding his true stable, 

I dont have a real perfect way to honest,

But to be 'something' for you

Is a long dream I wished for true....

Je T'adore... :)

Bored Day And Beastly

Selamat malam teman-teman... :)

Saya nulis ini pas lagi bosen, makanya kalo ntar tulisannya agak semrawut dimaklumin aja ya, hehe (padahal tiap hari semrawut tapi sok nggak tau aja :p), niatnya sekarang sih pengen nge-review film yang baru aja saya tonton, tapi saya juga lagi pengen curhat -_-" jadi dimulai dengan curhat  aja kali ya :D

Well, hari ini saya nggak kemana-kemana, duduk diem dirumah sambil ngabisin novelnya Luna Torashyngu, sejengkal pun nggak nginjak tanah ato teras, bener-bener dirumah, saya jadi berasa pembunuh bayaran yang sedang melarikan diri dari pengejaran hari ini, sebagian besar sih kepengaruh novelnya yang nyeritain soal pembunuh bayaran gitu, tapi bedanya sama pembunuh bayaran Luna yang pemberani bin ajaib juga kadang-kadang itu, saya sih penakut abis ya bisanya cuma ngumpet seharian dikamar. -_-"

Trus gara-gara hampir mati kebosenan, saya akhirnya teringat kemarin baru beli dvd baru sama Nadia, walopun nggak terlalu penasaran sama filmnya-karena udah baca novelnya, atau sebelum baca aja udah tau ceritanya hahaha, jadi agak nunda-nunda nontonnya, trus kenapa juga masih ditonton? Yaah, kind of question was that? Liat aja pemainnya, Alex Pettyfer gitu looh hahaha <3

Well, that was BEASTLY, yang diangkat dari cerita jaman galau SD saya dulu (emang dasar hidup galau -_-") Beauty and The Beast, adaptasi dari novel Alex Finn, saya udah baca juga sih novelnya (udah dibilang tadi kan?) dan karena satu dan lain hal, saya agak kecewa dengan deskripsinya, dengan alurnya juga, saya kira bakalan dapet satu story yang "wahh" gitu, tapi nggak tau kenapa saya ngerasa itu bahkan terlalu fairytale dan saya nggak dapet pesan secara "beastly" disitu, nggak tau juga mungkin sudut pandang saya yang aneh aja. Hmm...

Kyle alias Alex tetep aja ganteng walopun buruk rupa gitu yaa (#eaaaa)

Film-nya lumayan sih, walaupun endingnya agak "nggak ngena" gitu tapi alurnya lumayan lah, ceritanya Kyle Kingson (di novel namanya Kyle Kingsbury) dikutuk menjadi buruk rupa sama penyihir bernama Kendra karena kesombongan dan sok berkuasa di sekolahnya (Lucunya, Kendra yang di novel dideskripsikan sebagai cewek gendut-jelek berambut keriting yang aneh, beda banget sama Kendra yang di film yang diperanin sama Mary-Kate Olsen, walopun aneh, tapi kan cantik gitu loh #eaaa), untuk mematahkan kutukannya, Kyle harus menemukan seseorang yang bisa mencintainya dengan tulus dan dia punya waktu setahun untuk itu, well, Kyle ini adalah anak dari seorang pembaca berita terkenal bernama Rob Kingson, karena nggak mau mengambil resiko dengan bertransformasinya Kyle menjadi jelek, ayahnya 'memindah'kan Kyle ke sebuah tempat yang jauh dari kota bersama Zola, pembantunya, dan nanti akan hadir lagi seorang tutor (kalo di novel sih Kyle sendiri yang minta seorang tutor sama ayahnya tapi kalo di film tutor itu disuruh ayahnya).

Sekarang kita ngebahas yang film aja kali ya, jadi sewaktu Kyle menghabiskan hari-harinya dirumah baru, dia sering ngebuka forum kampusnya Buckston Academy yang kemudian dia mendapatkan gambar dari seorang cewek bernama Lindy Taylor (Vanessa Hudgens)-yang pernah diberinya korsase pada saat pesta, sedang berfoto bersamanya di pesta yang sama, sejak saat itu Kyle jadi sering menemui Lindy secara diam-diam dan mulai naksir. Karena dia sempet memergoki ayah Lindy membunuh seseorang, dia meminta Lindy tinggal dirumahnya (ini bagian terSALUTnya, di film ayah nya keliatan berat banget ngelepasin Lindy, beda sama yang di novel keliatannya ayahnya fine-fine aja, tega banget sih yak) akhirnya, Lindy tinggal bersama Kyle, walaupun mulanya bersikap dingin, tapi akhirnya Lindy menyadari bahwa Kyle adalah cowok baik dan ia mulai jatuh cinta.

Novel sama film sih emang nggak pernah bener-bener sama, tapi kalo yang Ini saya lebih suka filmnya, beda banget sama twilight, heheheh, walaupun endingnya agak susah dimengerti, saya malah ngarepnya Kyle nembak Lindy di tempat dengan suasana yang romantis, kayak malem trus turun hujan gitu, ato pas candle light dinner--eh nggak deh, settingannya pas malem aja lagi hujan, jadi perasaan pun jadi diaduk-aduk gitu melankonis. (berasa korban sinetron T.T).

 

Ntah kenapa, naluri mengatakan harus share foto Pettyfer yang satu ini. Ganteng banget eii si abang :D Mulai minta dikeplak. Hahahah

Ekkhmm ekhhmm. Sebelum menutup ceramah saya pada malam hari ini saya punya quote yang bagus banget dari twit majalah GADIS-->>"Dont let anyone steal your dream, its your dream, not theirs"-Dan Zadra- so I think dont really care if someone says your dream is a fake and unbelievable, cause we live in this unelievable world. Sleep tight :)

Should That Thing Being So Cruel, eh?

Never blaming my bad future, like my dark past, all I need just apologize and forget it, if is maybe I can, I cant help too much!

I really need to think when I just see read that 'special' words then I couldnt sleep though I so much sleepy and stomachache hurts like hell, what a word, or what a sentence, no, its just a word, and I hate it!

< 3

Its strange when sometimes I thought, there's no love stories with awfully true love when I saw couples around, when I've ever felt nothing when it lost from me long ago, yeps, to me, love is when people adults and not when people learning to be an adult, in the other word, love will happens, though its not for now.

Love is not just perspective, like it forms like this, like that, people searching for sweet lyrics and cant stop listening full of romantic songs when it comes, and ended with mellow-sad songs when it gone,--honestly, I really love that kind of songs lol :D-- or expressing it in more words of a diary, a poem, a note,but yeah, it's not the way to find yourself knowing you are in love or not, people also often says love is sucks, but to me, there's no love sucks, even you were broken, try to convince yourself that they aren't love you, or they aren't love you again, its hurt indeed, but believe me you'll find a new better one, yeah one day!

And once again, I believe its weird, but when I realized year ago, though I didnt see you for more long time, even I didnt see you for more long time, I knew I love you, for so many attentions, words you said, and different things I got from you, I really knew you enchant me better, really better, thats why the world looks pretty when suddenly I met you, I'm wordless, I couldn't express anything, you were adored exactly in my heart, then my brain, and flowing to my mind, like you were just jibed with my cell, so much simply to absorbed, twilighters say imprint, but really its not an imprinting or stuffs, it comes so natural, all I know just, yeah I need it, I need you.

I prefer to use a nicer word than this, which all just meaning I'm unconditionally not a single anymore, haha yeah I said it, I'm not a single anymore, and so happy to find the one who can enchant me better than ever, for anything, yeah I'm proud to be yours :D hope you're will be the one that last, or we are trying to make this one that last :D


P.S : I REALLY do miss you too, but its not LDR, okay? :P

This Is What Loser Did

Current Feeling : Glee-Loser Like Me

"Suci kuliah dimana?"
"Kakak kuliah dimana?"
"Jadi di psikologi ci?"

Honestly, itu adalah pertanyaan-pertanyaan super random-bikin gondok-bikin benci sepanjang tahun 2011 ini, yang nggak pengeeeeen banget aku dengar dan kalo pas lagi ketawa-ketawa ditanyain ini, sumpah langsung bete dan ilang mood tiba-tiba, lucunya, kalo lagi sedih ditanyain ini aku malah bisa semakin melankonis, dengan isi pikiran super random yang bisa bikin aku nyerah atas segala hal, oke, sebenarnya aku nggak kuliah tahun ini, AKU NGGAK KULIAH, and guys, you should know what that means, aku gagal ngambil jurusan yang aku pengen dari dulu, terserah kalo orang-orang bilang aku bodoh atau apa, aku pengen banget kuliah di psikologi dari dulu, but since I've never been there, tiba-tiba aja semuanya 'kayak' berubah jadi sedikit benci. 

Haha, cukup dengan hal-hal membosankan diatas, rupanya dengan nggak memiliki kegiatan apa-apa di pagi hari pas bangun tidur itu cukup membahagiakan juga, aku jadi bisa nentuin sendiri apa yang bakal aku perbuat pada hari itu, mikirin semua hal-hal 'menyenangkan' buat aku jalanin, yaah, sebelum sibuk lagi mulai tanggal 19 ntar, yep, aku ngambil kursus aplikasi komputer perkantoran di Institut Teknologi Terapan tahun ini, semacam D1 but I swear its not, itu cuma kursus setahunan yang memang punya tugas akhir dan program permagangan,  nah cuma kata-kata terakhir ini yang bikin aku nggak sabar sebenarnya, hahaha. 

Aku sebenernya mikir, aku bakalan bisa fokus pada hal-hal yang bisa bikin aku senang setahunan ini, yep, 'kuliah' cuma dua jam sehari dan nggak pusing kayak SMA dulu, pr numpuk, catatan segudang, sekolah sampe sore dan lain-lain, jadi aku bisa lebih 'leluasa' nulis (gayanya emang kayak novelis terkenal banget hahaha), yep aku bisa nulis dengan nggak dibayang-bayangi tugas-tugas lagi kan, nonton lebih banyak film lagi, dengerin lebih banyak musik-musik yang aku suka, lebih melankonis lagi, and all over nerd things, I love all nerd things anyway. 

Dan gimana dengan Masa Depan? Yep MASA DEPAN, masA depaN, anyway, aku nggak mau terlalu banyak ngomong soal hal ini, karena aku aja nggak tau apa artinya, mungkin aja umur delapan belas tahun udah disebut masa depan, yang pasti banyaak sekali mimpi yang harus aku kuburkan sekarang ini, nguburinnya di tempat yang nggak satu orang pun tau, trus ngilangin jejak, dan mulai ngerangkai mimpi-mimpi instan yang realistis, haha I'm a suckest dreamer ever, hahaha, sumpah nggak ngarep buat jadi apa-apa lagi, yang penting bisa menikmati hidup dengan damai. Alhamdulillah.

(Pas ngomongin ini, rasanya satu beban terangkat, aku ngerasa diintimidasi mimpi selama ini, so intinya, aku jadi pengen banyak berbuat aja daripada ngimpi nggak jelas!)

*****

So, this is what loser did lately, nonton film yang udah 'cukup' lama sebenarnya tapi baru bisa nonton sekarang T.T

Yep, walaupun aku bukan Harry Potter-addicted kayak kebanyakan temen smp atau sma, tapi aku udah nonton semua sekuel sebelumnya, yang malah sampe sekarang nggak inget lagi saking udah lamanya, semuanya keren-keren, dan mungkin disela-sela tahun'senggang' ini, akan lebih banyak lagi film yang ngantri buat ditonton. 

Pilih yang mana? Emmm, yang pertama dari kiri of course, hahaha, si perfect Emma Watson dong, apa kurangnya sih cewek ini, udah cantik, pinter lagi, selain Natalie Portman tentunya, cewek ini yang paling perfect menurut aku, dan so excited pas tau kabar Bonnie Wright (as Ginny) bakalan ikutan di serial yang bakalan diputar di salah satu tv swasta Indonesia, katanya ada Cinta Laura juga, tapi tau ahh, udah lama banget rasanya nggak nonton tv, ckck.

Dan bacaan terfavorit sampe sekarang, masih ini : 

Ini loohh, hadiah anak-anak DePc pas ulang tahun kemaren, belum abis aku baca nih, masih asik ngulang-ngulang aja di bab-bab pertama -_-" thanks alot gals, buku ini keren abis-recomended.

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

[Glee-Loser Like Me]

Secondhand Serenade - Why

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I dont think that I knew the chaos I was getting in
But I've broken all promises to you
I've broken all promises to you

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing thats a single tear
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone
Because these days arent easy
Like they have been once before
These days arent easy anymore

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me

I should have known this wasnt real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing
I promise I will bring you home
I will bring you home

*****

I spent this afternoon texting with him and we were speechless with this song (I mean, me, of course! speechless to hear this killing melody but heey, he seems enough agape to listening the song, lol, yeah, today was going a little bit strange cause time seems turn faster even it faster all day, or it just my feeling, and Nawal cried hard makes me scare T.T, this massage for Nawal, just dont make your aunty got suffer of heart attack all day, honey, my sweet child thats enough today okay? :) Hahaha, however it always nice because we had so much fun chat all day and he always made me stuck of greatness, largeness, and highness lovin' him, LahPigMur :)

Pict credits : allaboutsecondhandserenade.blogspot.com

Lyric : azlyrics.com

Fading !

We are entering Idul Fitri for this year, tonight were just so cool and crowded, amazing, imagine I'm still living and celebrate it with all over lovely people in my life, though so, it will be a really perfect life !

*****

It reminds me so much how the times ran when Dad still around, especially on each Idul Fitri like this, He'd be the one I forgived myself for, when I turned back home from "Ied" praying in the morning, He'd be the one smiled in front of home, He'd be the one made me so excited about those days, so bad to think it would never happen again, especially for tomorrow, the first "ied" pray for this year, and problably will be the day I miss Him so much.

I'm praying for you, of course! I'd never took myself away from you, Dad, but still, it was hard to find "Ikhlas" thing they said, I was grown up with you, around you, in your hugs, and I miss a lot all the moments we stuck together, I miss a lot all nights you adviced me things, and I miss your story, I was grown up to live so close with you but you were gone this time, when I think myself still so kiddy, I miss you a lot Dad.

Whatever they said, I just ignore anything, I really think I need You tonight cause this is a really worse Idul Fitri than ever, I need you to enchant me better to go to the "real" things, I miss you to tell your story beside me, we're gonna talk about my favourite songs or movies Dad, anything, or just remember Idul Fitri or things we'll gonna run for tomorrow, foods we will eat, more place we'll gonna go, anything, I just want to do it all with you, do you think about me tonight, Dad?

Happy Idul Fitri 1432 H, though I'm not beside you anymore but you know, I'm still lovin' you more than anything in earth, and you're the only one I miss so bad, forgive me for all things made you sick, I'm not a beautiful and right daughter you had, but I'm just completely want to be 'something' for you, even now still nothing.

*****

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't
Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect

[Simple Plan-Perfect]

Whatever it takes, I think now I'm still learning to live away from you, pray you allright there in the heaven, I love you :)

Another Feel

"Why did you feel desperate when you see someone's life is super super super fun than your life? 

someone might have any favor, but what you had and think, is one that they wont entry"

-Nurul Suciana-

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

@katyperry : The new song skyscraper by @ddlovato is pure perfection. Her voice is one of the BEST undiscovered beauties. Can't wait for the full record.

LOL!! yeah I heard the Demo was so great then I wonder what the song was, this is really really sweet mood by Demi, another my feel, so much. If you need the lyric, here it is :

Skies are crying

I'm watching

Catching teardrops in my hand

Only silence as its ending, like we never had a chance

Do you have to, make me feel like theres nothing left of me

You can take everything I have

You can break anything I am

Like I'm mad of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper, Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears

I awaken, and untangle you from me, 

Would it make you, feel better to watch me while I bleed

All my windows, still are broken

But I'm standing on my feet

Go run run run 

i'm gonna stay right here

Watch you dissapear

Yeah, its a long way down

But I'm closer to the clouds up here

So, yeah, what a song, adding at my playlist to change the bad mood into sweet! haha great job demi, you are not alone :D

...She Made Everything's Great When I Couldnt Watch Paramore's Concert!

Its Sonia Eryka, when I though about Paramore suddenly reminds me to her, yeah! The same Incridible one's like Hayley, and tonight, paramore played in Jakarta, I wish I could watch it, but its impossible cause I live in a damn faraway place from there.

And I wish I would figure it out clearly in the next post in her blog, I love her writings, her accoustic cover, and her sense of fashion, she is rock!!

I'm on My Way to Believin'

Stargazing tonight, the stars just perfect, mussy and shine, I havent stargazed for problably two or three months, thats why I'm so excited and cant stop staring at the unique creatures over there--> when I was a kid, I dreamt to be an astronaut and imagine hows easy them sit on a star <-- haha yeah, freak thinking, I do love the stars so much, and because I didnt have something to do outside every night-except MTQ lately, I spent my time to watch the stars and let the melancholic feeling comes and I'm always enjoying every single moments of it :)

****

"...You are the only exception,

you are the only exception,

you are the only exception...

and I'm on my way to believin'...

and I'm on my way to believin...."

[Paramore-The Only Exception]

This is not the first time Paramore tried to kill me, Hayley's voice was perfect, reminds me of so much things we have done, sometimes I asked myself "Is it real?" hahaha, I dont think I have to write about lovestory or stuffs (again) here, something stuck in my head now.

Lol, its been long time I didnt think deeply about personal thing like love stuffs, and haven't planning for it, now I'm garnering the things I know about you, its bunch! I guess I know you more than I have to, lol, kidding :) I'm happy even just write or typing your name, I'm thinking of you in a whole of days, even I'm on a miff busier situation, thinking of you will always made my day :))

I think you influence me better, theres no one enchant me so much like you did, hahaha, falling in love is a stupidity isnt it? you made me feel special, dont you think we are a 'thing'? even now maybe in quiet wind, we are not in that time.

*sorry I'm just turning so sensitive, strongly thinking about it now

"...and I'm on my way to believin..."

****

P.S : I finished my busiest week ever, it will come on the next post, stay tune :D

Bite A Dream Yourself

.......I need the lonesome spot, my playlist, and my diary, to write and sing along, to exploring deeply about the signs, yeah, quite good at feeling, I think it's the best time to try to be an adult, life is sometimes hard, it's harder when I'm stop thinking, haha I can't stop it even I'm planning on it :D, I guess, yeah its time, I wanna speak louder, or scream, YEAH! ITS TIMEEE!!! even hurt, but its life, its a common, like My Sista, who gave me some inspiring things tonight, I tried so hard to be the one like her but problably I can prove it now, zzzz.. haha yeah its my time :D 

******

---I have a dream, a song to sing 

To help me cope, with anything

If you see the wonder, of a fairytale

You can take the future, even if you fail

I believe in angels, 

something good in everything I see

I believe in angles, 

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream

I have a dream-----

******

YEASH! I have a dream, its a problem, cause someone weird like me impossible could achieve what she wants, and its true again, hahaha, but also no problem, true I really proud to be pathetic, grunge dreamer girl's keeping a dream till the world ends but there's no regret about it :p

******

"please call me and sing, I intend to say more, but I do really miss a wish for sweet dreams..."

Sleep tight, everybody! :)

Frustrating!

I'm repeating one song since I found it from my friend this afternoon, Maher Zain titled Insya Allah, its made my heart so calm, I'm counting how long I'm living in this earth, its 18 years, even sometimes the happiness came suddenly and make me exciting about those things, but the suffers came most often, maybe I'd like to blame myself everytime, I blamed myself if anything goes wrong, in every moments, I suddenly give up, and its difficult to come up back, I try so hard everyday to live my life likes everyone's life, only talk and think about his responsibility of something, not take so much worst things to entering, problably I always enjoy anything, myself like 'play' everything and not like working hard, indeed, sometimes life such a simplicity, even you dont always judge my look outside, my mind roams more than I have to, made me sick, like today.

I dont know why but I always feel I'm alone, I know I live with much people around, its family and friends, I always can share them anything, but I'm not troublemaker and bothermaker's type, I will always feel I'm wrong then, (I'm sorry if I'm so much often do this with someone, feels like I really really need you and, yeah, its true. :) and everymoments in my life taught me to be pathetic, even I'm a dreamer, so freak dreamer, but I've never want so much something, I aware who I am, and its impossible to get the things like its always stuck in my head, like disease, I let them on, since I know about what dream is, and never want so much of them.

"Ohh why is everything so confusing

Maybe I'm just out of mind, 

Yeaahh........"

Yeah! Its true, Like Avril sings for me now. I guess I knew myself more than everybody around, a freak dreamer girl's living for counting the times, (really, its like counting something I've never seen, but I believe I need it), I always believe the fate, anything about it, but sometimes its made me crazy, I'm only need the truth and everything goes well, not always thinking. Could anyone proves how actually the world goes? 

This is about my college, I want Psychology major as hell, maybe, if you are close with me, you surely have known this, but yeah, now I got accounting major in economy faculty Unsyiah, its D3, I know its problably my fate, and I will take psychology in another chance, but really, the expense was so expensive, actually my mom has agreed about the expense but I didnt think I have to pay it in the day after I saw the result, I'm over frustrating, and always, I have to done it myself, alone, always it is. 

I'm not going so conceited to tell I've done always myself, sure I need them too.

Something stucks my head so bad, usually, I formed myself to think fast of anything, but its not work now, I cant think out from my ability, sad, uh? Yeah it was me.

"The mirror can lie

 Doesnt show you whats inside

and it, it can tell you're full of life

Its amazing what you can hide

Just by puting on a smile..."

Now Demi plays in my playlist, usually, the song always influenced me to be calm, but now, I guess I'm thinking more busier, the way which make me crazy when I'm done, like I will. and you know, I still thinking Dad watch me over there, He staring me, and If I could see it, I will always run to reach you dad, what I want is just cry in your hugs, I miss to share about my favourite songs, my favourite movies, even sometimes You cracked my playlist and said my favourite singers/bands just become so insane cause they were screaming alot than sing, but you made me laugh, and I always feel you just try to understand my life, my period, I'm a teen dad, its different and make you worry about, isnt it? 

Well, I miss you more than I imagine, you are just a superhero for me.

"I'm quickly finding out
I'm not about to break down
Not today
I guess I always knew
That I had all the strength to make it through..."

Even world is going overrated, and it force me to see I'm just a girl with all restrictiveness, I create a dream my self, and I will reach it my self too, I dead and sick because livin' with so many dreamkillers, but its always not a fault to have my own dream, yeah! guess so.

"Not gonna be afraid
I'm going to wake up feeling beautiful..today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
So you see, now, now I believe in me

Now I believe in me "

All I have to do is just believe, world is so cruel, and I dont want to be more than it, God gave me anything and everything to think and hope, also try, so, at least I have to smile everytime show them I'm great, at least my Dad, who's carried everything on me, I'm just so lucky to had him.

******

Life is cruel, its a reality

But at least we try to let the tears gone!

FADING!

The College :)

Good evening everyone...

Today was exhausted, I've fought the same test for three times, yeah! its three times, in the same university, thats Unsyiah, in Darussalam, Banda Aceh, a little frustrating when I type "three times" around here, hahaha, I've passed SNMPTN and UMB with the truly worst nighmares ever, so, I hope for this time, only for this time, I'll have a good news.

The test started yesterday, we were going to two different place to interviewed, I guess it would be worst, or not great, but hahaha, yeah! its a truly nice experience, actually, its my very first interview, I fought it well, even nervous, stutters, gaze into interviewer in any moments made my heart likes gonna pop out from its place, hmm, but its so usual right? :D

Tomorrow, me, Dewi, Kiki, Sella went to PRODIS (Program D-III sekretaris) in Unsyiah, or school of secretarial behind Economy Faculty Unsyiah, which kinda far from the parking lot, especially me, dewi and sella, we were going to interview and want to see how great the building is, yess! Because it famous with “school with al of beautiful girls, I couldn’t stop staring at the clean place and full of flowers in the façade, although I’ve never imagine I will going into this place, but I do love it.

Yepp! You could guess it, there was a lot of beautiful girls, and looks so confident, wore beautiful dressed, high heels and stuffs, yeah! Maybe those were REAL girls’s my mom ever said, I’m not a real, I don’t hate high heels, but I never comfort to wear it, no comfort means no confident, no confident means shatter, and shatter = die, and die means? Yeah!! but as my interviewer said its an uniform, atfirst I think, what should I do? but now, hahaha, yeaah, I will try it :D

I didnt bring my camera yesterday, so today me, Dewi, and Kiki had a chance to take the pics, and its like some errors crash my camera :(

 the facade... :)

this is the place we took when we waited for it :)

me, dewi, and kiki :)

There we met Ade, Aluck, Abay, and three new friends, Icut, Vivi, and Erika, for interviewing PERBANKAN major, yeah! two majors came to interviewing. accidentaly, we meet them again today :)

Kiki, Vivi, Erika, and Dewi

And today, I though it was great, no more difficult questions and maybe I'm helpless? not really! haha, cause I always know God had create my fate well, and problably would more blast than I guess now. 

we met Shisy too :)

this is the park outside economy faculty, great :)

and as always, narcicsm spot :D

Like I always believe, if we are trying hard, something beautiful will always wait for us, cause God had provides everything, we just need to try and thanks :)

P.S : This post is dedicated for my interviewer, I'm sorry it came soo late, maam, I was so busy yesterday. but thanks for the nice "chat", it was my great experience ever :')

Believe in Me

Honestly, now I'm a fight trouble, and I heard this song all the times, I always love Demi, besides "This is Me", this song was awesome, I'm always being calm, speechless and ...sad, yeah! it was hard to me even I laughed all day, the lyric killed me, but still, I strongly feel I'm not alone when Demi said...


"I'm loosing myself... trying to compete... "


Sounds like, yeah! It was really REALLY me...

My Days Lately : Finally Ramadhan :3

Huhh!! Hii readers, saya akhirnya punya waktu luang buat nulis lagi, dengan kesibukan yang waaww! akhir-akhir ini, yaiiy! saya jadi sekretaris di kepanitiaan MTQ tahun ini (gaya-gayanya sibuk banget macem manajer artis, hahaha), jadi ada 'sedikit' pekerjaan yang harus saya selesaikan di kesekretariatan, pergi pagi, pulang sore, but I'm really enjoying it sooo much, terlebih karena kita yang ngatur acara yang kayaknya bakal diminati oleh banyak orang bulan ini, hahaha, as always, I'm always proud of myself when I'm being something useful :D

Ehh, btw udah puasa nih, saya pengin ngucapin selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa bagi semua yang menjalankannya, happy fasting everyone, you know, I'm always love ramadhan, jadi betapapun banyaknya pekerjaan sekarang, saya akan selalu menikmatinya, again, happy fasting, guys :D

Tadinya aku ke warnet cuma buat cetak kartu ujian ulang, yep! JMU D3 Unsyiah diundur sampe tanggal 6, kabarnya sih, pesertanya membludak lagi, mungkin itu orang-orang yang nggak lulus di JMU S1, dan belajar? haha, not at all, saya cuma lagi tertarik baca-baca sejarah doang sampe sekarang, dan kayaknya bukan masalah, saya agak nggak suka D3 karena nggak ada psikologinya, hahaha.

trus pas tadi sempet buka Facebook, saya baca statusnya okky, bestfriend saya juga di SMA, statusnya bikin terharu, hehehe, sempet speechless karena blog saya yang bukan apa-apa gini dinilai kreatif sama dia, dan sampe buat status :'), hehehe thanks gal, sering-sering aja mampir kemari yaa, hehehe :D

Yepp, cuma itu yang bisa dishare hari ini, day was BLAST! dan sekarang saya bakal balik lagi ke sekretariatan dan mungkin pulang sekitar jam 6 lagi, nggak apa-apa, I'm always enjoying it :3

18' Birthdaaay

A veryyyy different post, this is the first time I'm gonna show my DePc's friends in my blog, yeah! you should have known them long long ago, hahaha...

In 22th of july, they made me feel soooo precious, really I'm glad being the one of them for almost I dont know, maybe two or three years, but I feel I knew them for long long ago, they just like my family, really! They made a script like, heheh, I didnt feel that was just a script, they were act so cool, hahaha, we came and hangout in Malahayati's harbour. the view was great.

 Suci, Mami, Dewi, Me and Erna

 

Hahahaha, inspired by

the beatles :P

me holding my birthday present, thaanks gals, it means a loot :)

Finding Reality

Had a good day with Dewi today, and hufftt, again, I'm gonna be crazy about it....

 

Yeah, lagi-lagi, and I wish this for last! kami ngedaftar buat ikut tes masuk perguruan tinggi, di Unsyiah, setelah beberapa insiden 'mengecewakan' tadi, akhirnya, dapeet juga, dan agak menyebalkan setelah capek-capek disana kita cuma dapet kertas satu ini (mulai labil :P)

dan ....

Yahh, kali ini Diploma III, nggak pernah ngebayangin sih harus 'bergabung' disini selain di psikologi.&*&*%^&%&^%^%&%^&^^!!!!

 

Ini yang saya pilih sodara-sodara .... :P

And I wish I'll never get some neighmares like this, again....

 

Have a good day, everyone :))