She is so beautiful, I like when she pulls her spoon and eat it from the bottom remains one or two tiny piece on her spoon and she return it exactly the same way, I like the way she smiles to people, I like it when she talks to the waitress who is her bestfriend nicely, the way she laughs, she speaks to mom politely, eventhough I caught some confusion right in there, her brown eyes, and the eyes, seriously, I can imagine it and can’t stop listening to some corny love songs those tell how girl’s worth it.

She wears good clothes too, she has beautiful and small hands, she has a not so neat teeth and I like it, she is really down to earth person, and she impressed mom so much, she is kinda family girl the way she been so close with her mom, and she knows how to talk good and she only talk good things, the plus is all hers, you bet it, she knows how to make money.

She is smart, she is nice, she is cool, she is beautiful, she is genius, she is there in my mind all the time lately, and this is the sign obviously, finally, I fall again to a woman, the right woman, I don’t know you, but I’m ready for a seek of chance.

So, mom, for this, yes, apparently.

A calm, quite, and kind-hearted, a cool but also a smart (a nerd who love to be in library), so educated that he takes his undergraduate and/or postgraduate abroad somewhere in a ranked university in Europe, a religious, a good looking guy with a deep-drowned eyes, update with current issues, play and listen to good music, read books, speak english fluenty and having interest to learn some more languanges, a faithful lover, experienced in a bad love story which makes him really careful to choose his future partner again, a family lover, having a 3 year-old daughter from his previous marriage, that he loves a lot and risk life for her, that choose to build a better career after the divorce and now he moved out as a 32 year old men who has anything by his side, has built a family house for his family, sit in advanced chair in the office, and now being acquinted to a woman that attracts him (after long experience of his mother finding women to be introduced with a big hope to be her future daughter in law), and finally he sits back in his chair one night and save the writing above in his laptop.

I really wonder how it ends, he's the coolest I've ever made as a novel role, I don't even want to finish the story, I hope he lives in real life, because he does live and also distract me for so many things these several years :)

Name your current self: Selfish, lazy, worried, terrified, tired.

I never know what I have to face the next day, this is absolutely wrong, even it has hundred of reasons behind, this is wrong, wake up in a place that might scary you a lot, a place that unfamiliar to you, facing people those hate you, walk alone to somewhere you wish would make you smarter, but currently not anymore, making friends but end up being hating each other, seeking for perfection but never happened, you hate to deal with bullshit, but they thought you were just that selfish.

I started to speak a lot, a lot, I mean, a lot like I always have something to let people know, unimportant ones that made me regret in the end, I don't know why, this is definetely wrong, two days have passed and I stuck in this kind of thinking that this is wrong, but I can't do more than just accept it and do it again, I'm lazy, I'm blablabalabaaaaaarrrrrraaaassss