Passion~

Friday, October 31, 2014

Lagi pengen ngomongin soal passion, passion itu buat aku sejenis hal yang udah duluan hilang sebelum bener-bener aku perjuangkan. Ok, let's name it, dari dulu aku suka nulis, even I'm bad with it, dari dulu selalu suka pelajaran bahasa inggris, walau untuk translate jurnal yang disuruh dosen pun susah, dari dulu kepengen kuliah di harvard, no I'm serious, walopun gak pernah mikir jurusan apa karena yang aju suja tentang harvard cuma sebatas view dan sedikit yang aku tau tentabg nature-nya, dari kecil pengen jadi psikolog dan ngetes dijurusab itu dua kali dan gagal di tahun 2011, dari dulu selalu suka liat acara tv jalan-jalan yang hostnya selalu ke tempat-tempat eksotis dan tau tentang yang gak semua orang tau tentang hal tersebut dan pengen juga seperti itu walaupun wilayah terdekat di Aceh aja gak terjangkau buat aku. It seems impossible, especially now, I didn't choose my passion, I choose what keeps me walking, begitu lulus SMA, dan sadar kalo untuk bisa keterima di suatu perguruan tinggi susah, aku jadi gak mau macem-macem, yang penting keterima aja udah sukur, cukup rejeki buat kuliah aja udah alhamdulillah, lagian, aku sadar untuk nurutin passion kayak gitu mengharuskan aku untuk punya pergaulan yang lebih luas, which is bad to me, kadang-kadang ngerasa, untuk punya temen yang bisa bertahan lebih dari satu-dua tahun aja udah sukur, I'm that very less common sense person, dan setelah menjalani ini udah tiga tahun setelah lulus SMA, wara wiri di diploma 1 di tahun pertama dan udah ditingkat 3 universitas sekarang, semuanya masih belum terlalu jelas, I even forgot what I reallly feel passionate with, I keep walking, dan kalo ditanyai mau jadi apa, buram, banget.

I once ever feel so jealous dengan orang yang dapet kerjaan sesuai passion dan hobi tapi tetep dapet uang banyak--nggak bisa dipungkiri memang, to live in this place, uang itu adalah salah satu tolak ukur seseorang sukses apa enggak, dan di lingkungan ini juga passion gak terlalu dipedulikan, tiap orang dituntut sekolah bagus tinggi tinggi, trus dapat kerjaan bagus lalu ngumpulin duit sebanyak-banyaknya, as a person, I dont wanna be a hypocrite, I need money, I really wish to have a job that makes me earn lot, lots of money, gak peduli mau sesuai passion atau nggak, toh, selama dua tahun ini, aku udah selalu berjuang menghadapi bosan karena sering merasa salah jurusan, kan? Kadang sampe mual saking bosannya dan selalu ngerasa ini sia-sia, but I don't give up, something can't be real until we give it a try, so I tried, I tried to punch back anything seems punched me so hard in here, pada akhirnya, saya juga ingin terlihat kuat dan menjadi pemenang, pada akhirnya, saya rasa untuk bisa kuliah aja sudah merupakan anugerah so I embrace it and never gonna take it for granted.

Pada akhidnya, yang dikejar adalah rasa selalu ingin membuktikan diri, to prove that I can to whoever has underestimated me, no passion left, dari mulai nggak pernah mikir akan nulis buku lagi, nggak pernah penden main-main, selalu serius dan fokus, dan berharap suatu saat yang aku jalani sekarang udah yang terbaik, yang aku seriusin sekarang adalah yang benar-benar bisa 'membantu' kehidupan aku suatu saat nanti.

But, to see 9gag's twitter pic this morning is emotionally punch me down, I miss my thoughts, my pass life, how I create my mindset good to always stay straight in my dreams, work for that, and even it's still impossible, I realized maybe I just never have done anything, I never truly see how it works around here, or I skipped my passion to anything I said keeps me walking, apapun yang nggak bisa aku miliki aku akui karena aku gak terlalu memperjuangkannya, whether it was so hard or it's me always feel tough, it's not happen to me. But I can say for this chance--I always love to say this is my last chance to keep me work so hard, I'd never take this for granted, the future awaits now, I need to prove to myself first that I can do it, and I'd do it, done this well and think my another step to chase, and do it even better, so, yeah, it's my passion now.

What You See Bad In Yourself is Actually Worth It

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Reblog from Sonia Eryka's tumblr titled 25 Signs You Are The Kind of Woman The World is Scared of


1. You have a lot of opinions about a lot of things, and you just can’t keep them to yourself.
2. You mean what you say and say what you mean – none of that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus nonsense.
3. You never back-down from an argument. You’re not always starting them but you sure as hell finish them when necessary.
4. You have really high standards for the people you choose to be around and you’re not afraid to leave behind those who cannot meet it.
5. You’ve got even higher standards for any person who wants to be with you, romantically.
6. You’d much rather fail at doing things your way than succeed while being a people-pleaser.
7. You do not tolerate drama but you also will stand up for yourself if the situation calls for it.
8. You love being in charge, taking control, and anything and everything that makes you feel powerful.
9. You’re called high maintenance for knowing what you like (and what you like happens to be of finer tastes.)
10. Coco Chanel, Maya Angelou, and Queen Victoria are your spirit animals.
11. You’ve always thought aspiring to be “like a man” is something people who lack ambition do.
12. You are not afraid to ask your boss for a raise because you want to be paid what you deserve.
13. When you want something, you go for it, unapologetically.
14. You are not afraid to “be alone” because that is 1000 times better than getting less than what you deserve.
15. In a relationship, you ask for what you need and you are willing to compromise some things, but not everything.
16. You make disloyal people regret their words and/or actions.
17. But you never take revenge, because you know the best revenge is success.
18. You also always forgive your enemies but like every sensible person, “you never forget their names.”
19. You don’t apologize for crying or not crying.
20. You relish your strengths and accept your weaknesses and consider self-growth an everyday endeavor.
21. You intimidate people with your confidence – not just men or women – people in general.
22. You are allergic to people’s bullshit and you do not hestitate to inform them of that.
23. You like to think of yourself as “not a lover or a fighter” but someone who will indeed, “fight for what and whom they love.”
24. You’re not afraid of being called difficult because you know it’s just a word society uses for women who aren’t afraid to challenge the status quo.
25. And you are always slightly overdressed for everything. 

— by Kovie Biakolo
 
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