Balancing

Sunday, October 25, 2015

...Smile, till it hurts,
Lets not make it complicated
We've got a story
But I'm about to change the ending...

Boys Like Girls

I don't know how to start this writing since I don't have any idea about my happy madly happy lately, it's the stupidest ever happen to me above 20, yes, I'm no longer teenager so I reduce kind of mellow things, this isn't mellow, this more like being grateful and I pretty believe there's nothing such gratefulness could build greater and happier life, okay, don't mistaken me with Mario Teguh :p I told you what I feel and I mean this.

So, time, or a new person, has prove that those combination are totally fine, it takes me tonight singing a long Boys Like Girls again, feeling happy again day by day, no more hope, no more so much care, I'm in my duty to finish my bachelor thesis and now I'm in Kuliah Kerja Nyata (KKN) for a month in one village around Lhokseumawe.

Sometimes I can hardly think about how time flies fast, how fast things changed, don't wanna mention the heartbreak, I'm in the process on being healed, or I can say I have healed at all, that is fine, it's long time I'm in the process of finding self and this kind of feeling is what I really want, focusing to only my self, being crazy, crancky, weird, at the same time, I did, I have done everything to make me happier, I have worked so hard to fix everything just in consciously think I love myself more than kind of love I could give to everybody. This is the things I need to remind myself all the time like forever things I should always do for myself.

.Making friends is an ultimate joy
I never been open up to guys like I have some guy friends to talk to, well, back when I was in relationship, I don't try to make it hard, no hard treat from my ex like I couldn't be friend with guys, it's just, I tried to watch people's feeling, I didn't regret that, what I can say I even proud of that, and today, I got some guy friends telling me their stories and I can feel my friend circle is getting a lil bit wider.

.Do care of what self really wants
It's just as simple as picking colours, I have paid a lot attentions of myself by trying to know what I really want, do I really want that cute black purse or I need that shoes? This is don't have side of me in relationship just a part of me growing up.

.Today is the H day
...and that's why I do everything today hoping I have longer time tomorrow to think about something else, procrastination is still there, but I'm no more just think about something I want to do, I do it.

.Laugh, Louder.
Being stupid with friends is not really my thing, today I feel like totally losing my jaim self and I freely talk things I want to, like, I say what I did't like, back in the day I thought why some people just don't care about somebody's feeling by telling hard thing in front of the facem but now I know it's just a part of being honest so I did it too, today.

.No too much worry of future
because present is worth to embrace, it tells who you are today and do something for you today.
 
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