Lately, and by that I mean it's been few months already, I thought I kinda really addicted with my smartphone, scrolling Instagram for nothing, scrolling through old funny messages in Whatsapp Messanger, browsing this and that, searching old songs in Joox, I could spend hours doing nothing but staring at my phone, it's not like I never did that, but I didn't do that everyday, like, after office hours, during office hours when it's lack of work to be done, sometimes before office too, not to mention my weekend, this is so far steals my sanity, every procrastinating I did is because I was spending too much time with this little stuff on my hand, this really bothers me, at least that's why I write -____-
I already planned to cook for a long time, at least in weekend because I am one of the worst cook (probably not, I did cook and people ate my food without complaining, ini mau ngebela diri sendiri demi self-esteem aja sih muehehehe), I always planned to cook at weekend but then I can only remember it again in sunday night CK!, but things are different as I plan (or us, me and bf :D) to go to the next level next year a.k.a yes, getting married, what else? :D, this is really something, even, he knows that I'm no good with being at home and doing house work, like, cleaning the house, cooking, even he knows I'm not really neat as a woman and horeeee he doesn't complain, but traditionally, I perceive that a woman should cook, no matter how busy, how little she spent her time at the house, I have this thing inside of me that I'll be the woman my family will depend on, like, being responsible on everything, my work, my house duty, fulfilling my husband and kids needs, as I grow up, I believe I already witness enough examples about type of women, and as all we know, nobody's really perfect, I don't want to be perfect, I only wanna be reliable.
Ini udah kemana sih?
Oke, soal kecanduan smartphone.
At home, if there's no smartphone, I tried to open my laptop and go on movies folder, I had so many movies I haven't watch, last time I watched "Crazy Rich Asian" and I'm one of those people who thinks the movie was like, meh, just that, but the visual, I know I kinda liked it, so if I once leaving my phone, my head leads me to watch and skip (skip watching, as I said lol) "Crazy Rich Asian", by saying my head is leading, I mean, that one thing popped on my mind if I take a little time off staring at phone, what a sad truth :".
I got a long list of what to do but I haven't done anything in my life besides my work right now, I also need to improve my english, to open my accounting books to recall so many things, I need to clean out, really clean out my room, I want this, I want that, but now I wonder, where is my self-control?
Spending almost 20 minutes writing this because I checked my phone at least 5 times during this, I am ugly I wanna cry.
