We are going through the worst feeling whenever we want to get fresher, we cry, we faced pain, how worst when the lonely feelings came almost every nights, we faced it convincing ourselves that tomorrow we will find friends around to talk, to laugh, and the night came again, over and over again being a lonely girl when everything seems allright.
We pretend because we had tired to try, to explain but they feel we were arguing, it's bad to feel like we face our life alone, no place to share, but it's true, in the end, we are one responsible of our own happiness right? So I feel okay this time, and I will stop complaining like they always saw me I was a spoiled brat, the reason why I'm still here are mom has lots of expectations in me, my dad raised me to be better always better than what he had in the entire life, not always about my family, I have my own expectations like I'm keeping my faith, I don't know if there is still a hope that stands in me, I'm no longer believe in anything since my dreams are all like failed, ridicilous, the point is people, or my sister always convinced that I'm still having the chances, not like her today a twenty nine housewife with two little kids that regret a lot, she acted like she regret, eventhough I saw she is fine all the way, we pretend, like us too,
Future seems far yet close now, my friends are getting married, I was grown up believing like married s the state of future looks like, c'mon, so common thoughts right, but that's not what I believe I have to do since I have strict of destinations in my head, but now seems far to me to reach my goal, so, I made this note hoping all the bad things in my head will go away.
Because success is a state of mind, start thinking yourself as a success, I only wanna be happy living my dreams, because I desperate to see nothing works until today while people traveled around their dreams in the same age like me.
Try harder, probably, don't always sit while people is trying to build a chair, yes, you might feel more bitter than this living the way to get the way you want, I just have to believe that one day I will get it too, to get to what I like, to living my dreams, live with people I love, in the brighter day, in a beautiful place, there will be no more pain inside, we just happy. I hope at least one day I will feel it, because if we don't have strict problems, that was not a life, right? :)
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