as same way as those, or worse.

Picture credits : Here and here 

Us Againts The World -- Westlife

A hectic week, I started everything messful as far as I don't yet move on from my holiday, who ever guess now I'm in 5th semester! That. short. Or not really, now I planned to take care of everything, count on everything I work on to make it even shorter, so, today after college, I was busy with my tasks and now I'm still in front my laptop so I can copy the video to the blog.

*****

Once I was so busy to be mellow because I have so much things to do here, crazy, it's not yet two weeks but I've done few of papers and now I'm working for another one, and accidently my fingers clicked this song from my winamp and it, I wanna say, succesfully made me this cranky, yes, I haven't listened to this song for years, yes, I always know what I listen to because it changes to every season, nor westlife, but nowadays I listened to some mainstream westlife songs and not this one, really, it changes my mood, so here I put the lyric for you.

Us Againts the world

againts the world

Us againts the world

againts the world

You and I, we've been at it so long

I still got the strongest fire

You and I, we still know how we talk

Know how to walk that wire

Sometimes I feel like the world is againts me

the sound of your voice, baby

that's what saves me

When we're together I feel so invincible

Cause it's us againts the world

You and me againts them all

If you listen to these words

know that we are standing tall

I don't ever see the day that

I won't catch you when you fall

Cause it's us againts the world tonight

There'll be days

We'll be on different sides but

that doesn't last too long

We find ways to get it on track

And know how to turn back on

Sometimes I feel

I can't keep it together

Then you hold me close

and you make it better

when I'm with you

I can feel so unbreakable

We're not gonna break

cause we both still believe

we know what we've got

and we've got what we need alright

we're doing something right...

Pretty much 'uncontrolized' me, thanks God I'm being in the crowd right now, really, this, so.....

Lyric credits: A-Z Lyric

Still

Just wanna share 4 memorable songs of westlife those pops in my mind right now.

I used to listen a lot of westlife ever since my brother and sister loved to play it around 2000's, I was a little kid that time maybe in first or second year in elementary school, and I still used to listen too when I grow up, until they already broken, missed just name.

I remember I used to play it in my old computer while I write or doing homework in my room, oh, I can't describe how I miss my room and it was definitely the first place I went to when I get home, I remember my dad often asked me the lyrics, I remember everytime I sang along, time I got crazy, time I got a happy or just faced a very bad day.

Overall, westlife, has been a friend and their songs will always be in my playlist everytime, even not all of the songs, though I can't memorize all the songs, but they always got a place in my heart.

And now here I am, got nothing to do after homework, just mised Banda Aceh so bad, my family, who always my reason to be happier, my boyfriend and friends, food culinary, the streets, everything.

Backstreet Boys' New Album! ~ In A World Like This

"We always want to the top of our previous albums, that's always our objectives." Nick Carter.

And, here's me being surprised of them, they are back! XD

Setelah frustasi patah hati mellownisasi berbulan-bulan gara-gara westlife bubar, beberapa hari ini udah mulai berbunga-bunga lagi abis ngedownload single terbaru bsb, In A World Like This, ini bahasanya udah kayak apaaaaa -___- yes, I'm surprised, malam ini abis ngerepeat lagu itu hampir satu jam, saya rencana mau share beberapa lagu yang saya suka sekali dari album kesembilan mereka (and now the band is turning 20 years old! Same like me -____-), ok, check this out: 

In A World Like This, first single ini ceritanya lagi jatuh cinta lagi setelah patah hati, saya suka musiknya yang ceria banget itu, asli bikin semangat. Enaknya di dengar pas mau tidur (IYA SERIUS) untuk orang yang dengar lagu sesuai mood kayak saya ini, lagu ini cocok buat tidur, instead of lagu-lagu mellow atau instrumen lullaby yang bikin cepet ngantuk, biasanya kalo feelingnya bener pas mau tidur, bangunnya pasti semangat (APAAN SIH!) iya iya bukan survey kok, cuma saya sering aja ngerasa kayak gitu.

Show 'em (What You're Made Of)

"You find the truth in a child's eyes

When the only limit is the sky

Living proof I see myself in you."

Seems a quote I need for now.

Beda sama In A World Like This, Breathe justru mendayu-dayu patah hati, tapi pas pertama dengar saya udah langsung suka, a lil bit reminds me of westlife's songs hehe :)) emang sih, nggak ada yang terlalu beda antara bsb sama westlife, yah, saya ngebayangin shane bakal nyanyi siap intronya -____-

Dan yang terakhir ada Madelaine, kalo westlife punya soledad, bsb punya Madelaine, that was what pops up in my head first time I listened to the song -_____- dengan nggak mau nyamain juga antara kedua lagu tersebut, oke, stop ngomongin westlife!!!! Ini bsb atau westlife sih jadinya (ketauan banget susah move on T.T) oke back to the point, I loveeee the lyric, n the part sitting in the bridge while his madelaine is writing in her notebook hoping one day it would be a story to tell, and she'd put in the movie. :)

Ini list lagu-lagu mereka se album:

1. In A World Like This

2. Permanent Stain

3. Breathe

4. Madelaine

5. Show 'Em (What You're Made Of)

6. Make Believe

7. Try 

8. Trust Me\

9. Love Somebody

10. One Phone Call

11. Feels Like Home

12. Soldier

Saya bukan ahli komentarin musik, but what I saw about this album was epic, atau saya yang udah kangen sekali sama boyband 90-an? FYI, saya emang prefer ke westlife atau bsb dibandingin sama One Direction atau The Wanted, nggak juga sama boyband Korea, Indonesia? :))

2 Things

2 Things I love in march until may, and sorry for late posting these, got a little more busy day with college stuffs and never got time to seek youtube music video :D

I feel suprised with paramore's new album NOW! Saya kaget ketika dengerin lagu ini pertama kali karena ini superb! dan super beda sama ignorance, turn it off, monster dan lain-lain, dan album yang rilis tanggal 1 april ini sukses terjual 106.000 keping di minggu pertama penjualannya.

Hal lainnya adalah, pas pertama dengar bahkan sampe sekarang, masih suka senyum-senyum sendiri (PLAK!), entah karena saya gila sendiri hehehe, I love the lyrics so so sooooo much! And just watch the video I cant tell you how much I love Hayley's style there :)))) I love this song! Really.

And the second BEST thing goes to AVRIL LAVIGNE!!!!!! I had adore her a lot since I'm still in junior high school and this new song is a blast! Okay, I admit you, I dont really get music at all, but this one is a little bit different with What The Hell or songs in her previous album "Goodbye Lullaby", kabar baiknya adalah, Avril bakal ngerilis album kelimanya september mendatang and I cant wait for more longer! Aku bakal selalu excited buat cewek kanada satu ini, dan yeah, Here's To Never Growing Up adalah debut single  nya untuk album kelimanya!

Hayley sama Avril emang sering disamain, walaupun menurut saya nggak ada samanya sama sekali, bahkan saya sering sekali baca-baca post yang nyamain mereka berdua, dulu waktu Avril masih ngerock-ngerocknya, aku juga nggak ngeliat kesamaan sama Hayley, well it's just my point of view, dan saya suka keduanya, impossible to have singer like them in Indonesia, UWOH! I almost forget Hayley was on a band, not a solo! Hahahaha. :P

Dear Hayley, You Got One More Parawhore!

Track list album baru paramore rilis 8 April 2013

1. Fast in My Car
2. Now
3. Grow Up
4. Daydreaming
5. Interlude: Moving On
6. Ain't It Fun
7. Part II
8. Last Hope
9. Still Into You
10. Anklebiters
11. Interlude: Holiday
12. Proof
13. Hate to See Your Heart Break
14. (One of Those) Crazy Girls
15. Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore
16. Be Alone17. Future [mor]


I'm not excited, I'm too excited!

Distance

"Please dont stand so close to me, I'm havin trouble breathing, I'm afraid of what you'll see right now, I'd give you everything I am, all my broken heart beats, until I know you'll understand..."

And I will sure to keep my distance,

Say "I love you" when you are not listening

How long can keep this up, up, up?

You Keep Me Drowning in Your Love

Don't pretend you're sorry,
I know you're not.
You know you got the power,
To make me weak inside.

And girl you leave me breathless,
But it's ok.
'Cause you are my survival,
Now hear me say.

I can't imagine life without your love.
And even forever don't seem like long enough.

'Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it.
You keep me drowning in your love.

And every time I try to rise above,
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

Maybe I'm a drifter, 
Maybe not.
'Cause I have known the safety,
Of falling free into your arms.

I don't need another lifeline,
It's not for me.
It's only you can save me.
Oh, can't you see?

I can't imagine life without your love.
And even forever don't seem like long enough. 
(It don't seem like long enough, yeah) 

'Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it.
You keep me drowning in your love.

And every time I try to rise above,
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

Go on pull me under.
Cover me with dreams.
You know I can't resist.
'Cause you're the air that I breathe! 

'Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
(Every time I breathe, yeah)
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it.
(Baby I can't help it)

You keep me drowning in your love.
And every time I try to rise above,
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your loveâ?¦

Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

Baby drowning.
(Ohâ?¦)
Got me drowning.
Keep me drowning in your love.

Baby I can't help it.
(Can't help it, can't help it no no.)
Got me drowning.

I can't imagine life without your love.
And even forever don't seem like long enough.

'Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
(I do)
And my heart beats again
(Oh yeah)

Baby I can't help it.
(Baby I can't help it)
You keep me drowning in your love.
And every time I try to rise above,

(Got me drowning)
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.




I know right, jadul dan saya sejalan...

J'espere Que

“Si la poussiere emporte tes reves de lumiere. Je serai ta lune, ton repere. Et si le soleil nous brule. Je prierai qui tu voundras. Pour que tombe la neigi au sahara…”


Anggun C. Sasmi- Snow On The Sahara (French Version)

And We Still Gonna Remember, Avril Rocks!

GOODBYE LULLABY

Kinda late to get a blast mood from Avril Lavigne's barely album "Goodbye Lullaby", and feel good enough to make myself so COOL on those things when I'm listening, life exactly :D, yeah, I heart Avril so much, been a fan from "Under My Skin" album several years ago, and then she will always there in my playlist all the time, evethough sometimes I update it with another songs.Ok, and my favourite one now is "Everybody Hurts".

AVRIL LAVIGNE NEVER DIES, walaupun sempat beberapa kali mengecewakan (bikin saya bingung tepatnya), dengan lagu-lagunya yang tiba-tiba jadi mellow banget di albumnya ini, bahkan dari album sebelumnya "The Best Damn Thing", saya sempet bener-bener bingung kenapa Avril yang cukup rock bisa mellow mendayu-dayu karena cinta di lagu "Whe You're Gone" atau "Innocence", eventhough I adore so much those songs then =D, dan saya tidak pernah melepaskan predikat Little Black Star dalam diri saya, walaupun kadang-kadang saya lebih suka lagu-lagu mellow lain ketimbang Avril, I love the way she rocked out the world, dan walaupun sekarang dia jadi mellow gitu, no matter what, I'm still love Avril, for sure :)

UNDER MY SKIN

 THE BEST DAMN THING

LET GO

Ini beberapa foto dari album Avril sebelumnya "The Best Damn Thing", "Under My Skin" dan "Let Go" yang transformasinya bisa kita liat sendiri, Avril sekarang sangat keliatan 'diva'nya, mungkin setelah melalui kehidupan love-life nya yang agak nyesek beberapa tahun lalu bikin dia jadi begini coba deh dengerin "Remember When" sama "Wish You Were Here", terlepas dari segi kehidupannya yang itu, Avril ini nunjukin kalo dia tipe cewek yang strong lewat musiknya, bahkan mantan suaminya Deryck Whibley punya andil besar dalam pembuatan album "Goodbye Lullaby". Nice!

Dan terlepas dari beberapa transformasi aliran musik Avril, she is still our professional rocker, jadi untuk beberapa little black star yang terus mempermasalahkan perubahan dari Avril ini, get a life, guys, this time we will see the diva rocks, so lets entering a whole album "Goodbye Lullaby" and you will feel the sense!

PICS by AVRILLAVIGNE.COM

Honetly it Sounds Nice !

This is the first time I hear Avril Featuring Eminem and get feel like this, its cool you have to watch this :))

THE 54th GRAMMY !!!

...more activities I wish I could throw away, but to think and look it back, I'm just cant...

Life seems bored, or it bored everyday? Yeah, kinda.. Lol. But I didnt waste my wishes list away, still hoping, and thats what dreamer's did, right?, I'm doing some job outside, like, teach, yeah I'm teaching, and actually I have no talent on this :p but for liking all my "students", seeing their little and cute faces smiling i aware that i cant be away from that, I actually, so much enjoying that and Thanks a lot to my Almighty Allah SWT for giving a chance like this fun (y)

and  I absolutely watched GRAMMY... and the tribute to Whitney Houston, it was great, and congrats for Adele and the beautiful song "someone like you", actually I'm listening Someone Like You but never get the excited like I listened "Mean" by Taylor Swift, and also, congrats for my lovely sista ever TAYSWIFT for giving this world become so wonderfull with her colourfull songs :))

Someone Like me just could staring and imagine how if I could hold those like You, Adele ;D

Taylor and cast performing "MEAN", I own that video :))

And I just didnt understand with this girl with her power also fashion which they called perfectionist and me, still keeping question like, FOR WHAATT??

:p

I didnt watch this event for several years and got excited for watch this again, and like you guys wanna say, I feel missing one of world's greatest voice ever, she is the one we could be adore by the voice and will absolutely remembered, rest in peace Whitney Houston :))

*****

Hey, do you feel, do you feel me?
Do you feel what I feel too?
Do you need, do you need me?
Do you need me?

You're so beautiful
But that's not why I love you
I'm not sure you know
That the reason I love you

Is you being you, just you
Yeah, the reason I love you
Is all that we've been through
And that's why I love you

I like the way you misbehave
When we get wasted
But that's not why I love you

And how you keep your cool
When I am complicated
But that's not why I love you

(I Love You-Avril Lavigne)

I start love this song so much lately, and feel it was like exactly what I feel, and oh-uh feeling hows true.... ;D

This Is What Loser Did

Current Feeling : Glee-Loser Like Me

"Suci kuliah dimana?"
"Kakak kuliah dimana?"
"Jadi di psikologi ci?"

Honestly, itu adalah pertanyaan-pertanyaan super random-bikin gondok-bikin benci sepanjang tahun 2011 ini, yang nggak pengeeeeen banget aku dengar dan kalo pas lagi ketawa-ketawa ditanyain ini, sumpah langsung bete dan ilang mood tiba-tiba, lucunya, kalo lagi sedih ditanyain ini aku malah bisa semakin melankonis, dengan isi pikiran super random yang bisa bikin aku nyerah atas segala hal, oke, sebenarnya aku nggak kuliah tahun ini, AKU NGGAK KULIAH, and guys, you should know what that means, aku gagal ngambil jurusan yang aku pengen dari dulu, terserah kalo orang-orang bilang aku bodoh atau apa, aku pengen banget kuliah di psikologi dari dulu, but since I've never been there, tiba-tiba aja semuanya 'kayak' berubah jadi sedikit benci. 

Haha, cukup dengan hal-hal membosankan diatas, rupanya dengan nggak memiliki kegiatan apa-apa di pagi hari pas bangun tidur itu cukup membahagiakan juga, aku jadi bisa nentuin sendiri apa yang bakal aku perbuat pada hari itu, mikirin semua hal-hal 'menyenangkan' buat aku jalanin, yaah, sebelum sibuk lagi mulai tanggal 19 ntar, yep, aku ngambil kursus aplikasi komputer perkantoran di Institut Teknologi Terapan tahun ini, semacam D1 but I swear its not, itu cuma kursus setahunan yang memang punya tugas akhir dan program permagangan,  nah cuma kata-kata terakhir ini yang bikin aku nggak sabar sebenarnya, hahaha. 

Aku sebenernya mikir, aku bakalan bisa fokus pada hal-hal yang bisa bikin aku senang setahunan ini, yep, 'kuliah' cuma dua jam sehari dan nggak pusing kayak SMA dulu, pr numpuk, catatan segudang, sekolah sampe sore dan lain-lain, jadi aku bisa lebih 'leluasa' nulis (gayanya emang kayak novelis terkenal banget hahaha), yep aku bisa nulis dengan nggak dibayang-bayangi tugas-tugas lagi kan, nonton lebih banyak film lagi, dengerin lebih banyak musik-musik yang aku suka, lebih melankonis lagi, and all over nerd things, I love all nerd things anyway. 

Dan gimana dengan Masa Depan? Yep MASA DEPAN, masA depaN, anyway, aku nggak mau terlalu banyak ngomong soal hal ini, karena aku aja nggak tau apa artinya, mungkin aja umur delapan belas tahun udah disebut masa depan, yang pasti banyaak sekali mimpi yang harus aku kuburkan sekarang ini, nguburinnya di tempat yang nggak satu orang pun tau, trus ngilangin jejak, dan mulai ngerangkai mimpi-mimpi instan yang realistis, haha I'm a suckest dreamer ever, hahaha, sumpah nggak ngarep buat jadi apa-apa lagi, yang penting bisa menikmati hidup dengan damai. Alhamdulillah.

(Pas ngomongin ini, rasanya satu beban terangkat, aku ngerasa diintimidasi mimpi selama ini, so intinya, aku jadi pengen banyak berbuat aja daripada ngimpi nggak jelas!)

*****

So, this is what loser did lately, nonton film yang udah 'cukup' lama sebenarnya tapi baru bisa nonton sekarang T.T

Yep, walaupun aku bukan Harry Potter-addicted kayak kebanyakan temen smp atau sma, tapi aku udah nonton semua sekuel sebelumnya, yang malah sampe sekarang nggak inget lagi saking udah lamanya, semuanya keren-keren, dan mungkin disela-sela tahun'senggang' ini, akan lebih banyak lagi film yang ngantri buat ditonton. 

Pilih yang mana? Emmm, yang pertama dari kiri of course, hahaha, si perfect Emma Watson dong, apa kurangnya sih cewek ini, udah cantik, pinter lagi, selain Natalie Portman tentunya, cewek ini yang paling perfect menurut aku, dan so excited pas tau kabar Bonnie Wright (as Ginny) bakalan ikutan di serial yang bakalan diputar di salah satu tv swasta Indonesia, katanya ada Cinta Laura juga, tapi tau ahh, udah lama banget rasanya nggak nonton tv, ckck.

Dan bacaan terfavorit sampe sekarang, masih ini : 

Ini loohh, hadiah anak-anak DePc pas ulang tahun kemaren, belum abis aku baca nih, masih asik ngulang-ngulang aja di bab-bab pertama -_-" thanks alot gals, buku ini keren abis-recomended.

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

[Glee-Loser Like Me]

Secondhand Serenade - Why

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I dont think that I knew the chaos I was getting in
But I've broken all promises to you
I've broken all promises to you

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing thats a single tear
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone
Because these days arent easy
Like they have been once before
These days arent easy anymore

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me

I should have known this wasnt real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing
I promise I will bring you home
I will bring you home

*****

I spent this afternoon texting with him and we were speechless with this song (I mean, me, of course! speechless to hear this killing melody but heey, he seems enough agape to listening the song, lol, yeah, today was going a little bit strange cause time seems turn faster even it faster all day, or it just my feeling, and Nawal cried hard makes me scare T.T, this massage for Nawal, just dont make your aunty got suffer of heart attack all day, honey, my sweet child thats enough today okay? :) Hahaha, however it always nice because we had so much fun chat all day and he always made me stuck of greatness, largeness, and highness lovin' him, LahPigMur :)

Pict credits : allaboutsecondhandserenade.blogspot.com

Lyric : azlyrics.com

Fading !

We are entering Idul Fitri for this year, tonight were just so cool and crowded, amazing, imagine I'm still living and celebrate it with all over lovely people in my life, though so, it will be a really perfect life !

*****

It reminds me so much how the times ran when Dad still around, especially on each Idul Fitri like this, He'd be the one I forgived myself for, when I turned back home from "Ied" praying in the morning, He'd be the one smiled in front of home, He'd be the one made me so excited about those days, so bad to think it would never happen again, especially for tomorrow, the first "ied" pray for this year, and problably will be the day I miss Him so much.

I'm praying for you, of course! I'd never took myself away from you, Dad, but still, it was hard to find "Ikhlas" thing they said, I was grown up with you, around you, in your hugs, and I miss a lot all the moments we stuck together, I miss a lot all nights you adviced me things, and I miss your story, I was grown up to live so close with you but you were gone this time, when I think myself still so kiddy, I miss you a lot Dad.

Whatever they said, I just ignore anything, I really think I need You tonight cause this is a really worse Idul Fitri than ever, I need you to enchant me better to go to the "real" things, I miss you to tell your story beside me, we're gonna talk about my favourite songs or movies Dad, anything, or just remember Idul Fitri or things we'll gonna run for tomorrow, foods we will eat, more place we'll gonna go, anything, I just want to do it all with you, do you think about me tonight, Dad?

Happy Idul Fitri 1432 H, though I'm not beside you anymore but you know, I'm still lovin' you more than anything in earth, and you're the only one I miss so bad, forgive me for all things made you sick, I'm not a beautiful and right daughter you had, but I'm just completely want to be 'something' for you, even now still nothing.

*****

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't
Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect

[Simple Plan-Perfect]

Whatever it takes, I think now I'm still learning to live away from you, pray you allright there in the heaven, I love you :)

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

@katyperry : The new song skyscraper by @ddlovato is pure perfection. Her voice is one of the BEST undiscovered beauties. Can't wait for the full record.

LOL!! yeah I heard the Demo was so great then I wonder what the song was, this is really really sweet mood by Demi, another my feel, so much. If you need the lyric, here it is :

Skies are crying

I'm watching

Catching teardrops in my hand

Only silence as its ending, like we never had a chance

Do you have to, make me feel like theres nothing left of me

You can take everything I have

You can break anything I am

Like I'm mad of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper, Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears

I awaken, and untangle you from me, 

Would it make you, feel better to watch me while I bleed

All my windows, still are broken

But I'm standing on my feet

Go run run run 

i'm gonna stay right here

Watch you dissapear

Yeah, its a long way down

But I'm closer to the clouds up here

So, yeah, what a song, adding at my playlist to change the bad mood into sweet! haha great job demi, you are not alone :D

...She Made Everything's Great When I Couldnt Watch Paramore's Concert!

Its Sonia Eryka, when I though about Paramore suddenly reminds me to her, yeah! The same Incridible one's like Hayley, and tonight, paramore played in Jakarta, I wish I could watch it, but its impossible cause I live in a damn faraway place from there.

And I wish I would figure it out clearly in the next post in her blog, I love her writings, her accoustic cover, and her sense of fashion, she is rock!!

Bite A Dream Yourself

.......I need the lonesome spot, my playlist, and my diary, to write and sing along, to exploring deeply about the signs, yeah, quite good at feeling, I think it's the best time to try to be an adult, life is sometimes hard, it's harder when I'm stop thinking, haha I can't stop it even I'm planning on it :D, I guess, yeah its time, I wanna speak louder, or scream, YEAH! ITS TIMEEE!!! even hurt, but its life, its a common, like My Sista, who gave me some inspiring things tonight, I tried so hard to be the one like her but problably I can prove it now, zzzz.. haha yeah its my time :D 

******

---I have a dream, a song to sing 

To help me cope, with anything

If you see the wonder, of a fairytale

You can take the future, even if you fail

I believe in angels, 

something good in everything I see

I believe in angles, 

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream

I have a dream-----

******

YEASH! I have a dream, its a problem, cause someone weird like me impossible could achieve what she wants, and its true again, hahaha, but also no problem, true I really proud to be pathetic, grunge dreamer girl's keeping a dream till the world ends but there's no regret about it :p

******

"please call me and sing, I intend to say more, but I do really miss a wish for sweet dreams..."

Sleep tight, everybody! :)

Frustrating!

I'm repeating one song since I found it from my friend this afternoon, Maher Zain titled Insya Allah, its made my heart so calm, I'm counting how long I'm living in this earth, its 18 years, even sometimes the happiness came suddenly and make me exciting about those things, but the suffers came most often, maybe I'd like to blame myself everytime, I blamed myself if anything goes wrong, in every moments, I suddenly give up, and its difficult to come up back, I try so hard everyday to live my life likes everyone's life, only talk and think about his responsibility of something, not take so much worst things to entering, problably I always enjoy anything, myself like 'play' everything and not like working hard, indeed, sometimes life such a simplicity, even you dont always judge my look outside, my mind roams more than I have to, made me sick, like today.

I dont know why but I always feel I'm alone, I know I live with much people around, its family and friends, I always can share them anything, but I'm not troublemaker and bothermaker's type, I will always feel I'm wrong then, (I'm sorry if I'm so much often do this with someone, feels like I really really need you and, yeah, its true. :) and everymoments in my life taught me to be pathetic, even I'm a dreamer, so freak dreamer, but I've never want so much something, I aware who I am, and its impossible to get the things like its always stuck in my head, like disease, I let them on, since I know about what dream is, and never want so much of them.

"Ohh why is everything so confusing

Maybe I'm just out of mind, 

Yeaahh........"

Yeah! Its true, Like Avril sings for me now. I guess I knew myself more than everybody around, a freak dreamer girl's living for counting the times, (really, its like counting something I've never seen, but I believe I need it), I always believe the fate, anything about it, but sometimes its made me crazy, I'm only need the truth and everything goes well, not always thinking. Could anyone proves how actually the world goes? 

This is about my college, I want Psychology major as hell, maybe, if you are close with me, you surely have known this, but yeah, now I got accounting major in economy faculty Unsyiah, its D3, I know its problably my fate, and I will take psychology in another chance, but really, the expense was so expensive, actually my mom has agreed about the expense but I didnt think I have to pay it in the day after I saw the result, I'm over frustrating, and always, I have to done it myself, alone, always it is. 

I'm not going so conceited to tell I've done always myself, sure I need them too.

Something stucks my head so bad, usually, I formed myself to think fast of anything, but its not work now, I cant think out from my ability, sad, uh? Yeah it was me.

"The mirror can lie

 Doesnt show you whats inside

and it, it can tell you're full of life

Its amazing what you can hide

Just by puting on a smile..."

Now Demi plays in my playlist, usually, the song always influenced me to be calm, but now, I guess I'm thinking more busier, the way which make me crazy when I'm done, like I will. and you know, I still thinking Dad watch me over there, He staring me, and If I could see it, I will always run to reach you dad, what I want is just cry in your hugs, I miss to share about my favourite songs, my favourite movies, even sometimes You cracked my playlist and said my favourite singers/bands just become so insane cause they were screaming alot than sing, but you made me laugh, and I always feel you just try to understand my life, my period, I'm a teen dad, its different and make you worry about, isnt it? 

Well, I miss you more than I imagine, you are just a superhero for me.

"I'm quickly finding out
I'm not about to break down
Not today
I guess I always knew
That I had all the strength to make it through..."

Even world is going overrated, and it force me to see I'm just a girl with all restrictiveness, I create a dream my self, and I will reach it my self too, I dead and sick because livin' with so many dreamkillers, but its always not a fault to have my own dream, yeah! guess so.

"Not gonna be afraid
I'm going to wake up feeling beautiful..today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
So you see, now, now I believe in me

Now I believe in me "

All I have to do is just believe, world is so cruel, and I dont want to be more than it, God gave me anything and everything to think and hope, also try, so, at least I have to smile everytime show them I'm great, at least my Dad, who's carried everything on me, I'm just so lucky to had him.

******

Life is cruel, its a reality

But at least we try to let the tears gone!

FADING!