".........Nurul Suciana............."

Dear God
I dont know what your plan created me t be always good outside
Like you tried to whispering the world I'm in great side
Always I am
who they said a good girl
who they judge a sweet one but I'm not


Yeah!
You know how bad I am
You know how dark I am
But always You said
You told me there was the one
So I couldnt feel I am alone
I always try to take a part

Yeah!
Always feel I'm just a thief
Stole one life who should for anybody I dont know

Dear God
I dont even know how long
but I should leave those all
Leave them who always great
Leave my good life in hell
So I just screamed

Hey, Hear me once, hear me once
Long time I tried to always quite
of all your rules, all your rules
But now I'm tired, you shouldd know its hurt
Yeah, Yeah!
Hear me once, hear me once
I'm runaway now,
Yeaah!! it's all made me so down
I just want t leave it all

And losrt the way then I cant get back
so just live alone...

Dear God
I know there was a good time for me
to prove them it's all I can be
Only You know how loser I am
Only You understand how freak I am
Just need to tell them

Hey, Hear me once, hear me once
Long time I tried to always quite
of all your rules, all your rules
But now I'm tired, you shouldd know its hurt
Its always hurt
Yeah, Yeah!
Hear me once, hear me once
I'm runaway now,
Yeaah!! it's all made me so down
I just want t leave it all
Just need t leave it all

A cup of DREAMER's bitter coffee

Life currently :
More news about National Examination, about returning library books, yeah! more school's stuffs, although now there's free of tasks, but National Examination is like hell, hurt! like three years ago, like, nightmare! but, now I've done it well, and now is time to waiting for the graduating! I'll be graduate!

Today April 21 : Selamat Hari Kartini untuk seluruh wanita Indonesia, buat cewek-cewek keren, yang lumayan keren, atau nggak keren sama sekali, just like me :(


Well, sebenernya emang nggak ada hal yang mengharuskanku buat mengingat lagi, atau back to old period, karena banyak sekali hal kedepan yang harus aku jalanin, seperti yang udah aku bilang, hidup, tanggung jawab, disiplin, PD, sabar, dan banyak lagi yang harus aku pikirin sekarang, berasa banget 'dipaksa' dewasa, (atau sekarang emang udah dewasa?) aku rasa enggak, karena masih banyak banget teman-teman yang stay cool aja berbuat segala hal yang mereka suka tanpa harus mikirin hal-hal yang nggak penting kayak orang yang udah tua-tua (tapi aku sadar, emang nggak semua orang itu sama, apalagi sama aku, yang udah dilahirin emang udah gini keadaannya, stranger!)

Funny, eh?

Yang terpenting buatku sekarang, 'selamat' di SMA, lulus dengan nilai bagus, nggak ngarep jadi yang baik banget apalagi yang terbaik, lulus SNMPTN, jadi mahasiswi jurusan psikologi, atau kemana aja yang udah ditakdirin sama yang diatas, watching my dad smiles happy to me in every dreams with him, seeing mom smiles and laugh everytime (not show me her bad-face everytime I hate it)

Funny, again?

Yeah! this is a learning process, a process to growing up, literally, sometimes several yours got something even they never tried hard, but sometimes, have to swallowing a cup of bitter coffee to find to get to know what life means is, obviously, literally!

The Perishers-Nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together walking
Spent some time just talking
about who we were
You held my hand so
very tightly
And told me what we
could be dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together drinking
Spent some time just thinking
about days of joy
As our hearts started
beating faster
I recalled your laughter
from long ago

There’s nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together crying
Spent some time just trying
to let each other go
I held your hand so
very tightly
And told you what I would be
dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I
So why do I even try?
There’s nothing like you and I

Always love you DAD !

Just need some airs to breathe, feels like really down today, yeah! today is monday, april 11 2011, I lived again to school, first school since I left for a week, a week made me cry out loud, hahaha, such as not like that desperate, but it's hard, you should have know that I'm not ready, I'm not ready for all things happening, its like I'll fight on National Evaluation Examination next week, do all homework (it's a lot of homework!) and lost my Dad, my super duper hyper hero at this time, you should have know, how it's hurt me much, how it's hard for me, and moreee things I'm not ready yet.


Yeah! My Dad gone at friday, april 1 2011 about 8:45 p.m

He left me, his one lonelies daughter, my mom Rosna, my bro, Didi with his daughter in law, Susi, my sista, Ida, with his son in law, and both supercutest grandchildren, Nawal and Aura.

and especially his good friends, lot of people on his life, yeah! he left we are...

Why I'm not ready whereas I'm the one who believe much of the fate? cause he was a really good listener of all school stuffs, he was the one who prepared much for my future (you know I'm on grade twelve now rite?) he did much talking with me about future, my future.


The way I remember my Dad was a really good person, I lived with him almost eighteen years old made me know him exactly, that's what I though first, but now I'm not, to saw every his friends cried much when they go in to my home made me miss him much, there's much things I've never known yet about him, he was a truly great one, and now I miss him so much.

and ... and...

I think you have to read this one.

Note-Facebook

I miss you, dad :(

but now I'll try to IKHLAS receiving that you're gone, I know you're happy there.

LOVE. :)


P.S : I wanna say happy sweet 4th birthday to Nawal Navisha, my great-ridicilous niece, yesterday at april 10. love you much :)

about #loveDAD! hastag I used a lot

to undesrtand how bad me now.
click :

I miss my DAD :'(

...........................

Yeah! I miss my DAD real bad ...
:)